


Impossible

by elisetales



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: 2012, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Deimos needs hugs, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Romance, Unrequited Love, gratuitous use of the word 'baby'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2684255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisetales/pseuds/elisetales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> Sacha and Aleks finally come to an understanding.</i> The diner parking-lot scene from Sacha's perspective. Works best if you've read the other shorts first. Originally posted in 2012.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impossible

They sat there in silence for a while after Sacha parked the car, Sacha listening to Ethan’s soft breathing as he searched for something to say.

“We can leave if you want to,” he said finally. “I don’t even want to see the little prick after—”

“No,” Ethan interrupted, before Sacha could finish. “Please go. You should talk to him, Sacha. I know you two are close and I wouldn’t want to come between you. I want him to know that.”

Sacha stared at Ethan long and hard—too fucking beautiful even with his clothes all crumpled and Sacha’s hickies all over his neck—and wondered again what the fuck he’d done to deserve him. Couldn’t see it lasting, Ethan wanting to stay with someone like Sacha when he had the whole world at his feet, but he still wanted to make the most of it while Ethan was his.

_ His _ .

Sacha leaned over and pressed his lips to Ethan’s ear, fingers curled around Ethan’s thigh, and murmured, “I won’t be long. You just stay right here, baby.” Ethan shuddered against him and nodded fast, still so skittish every time Sacha touched him, and Sacha brought a hand up to Ethan’s face, gently tilting his chin to press their lips together.

Sacha kissed him slow, Ethan still tasting vaguely like cherry vodka, and Sacha didn’t even give a fuck if Aleks was standing out there watching them, just wanted Ethan so bad he didn’t know how the fuck he was supposed to wait for it.

He turned the radio up and got out of the car, locking the doors and heading over to where Aleks stood outside the window of the diner. He looked scared and miserable as Sacha approached him—pale and bruised and too fucking skinny, wearing one of Sacha’s old sweaters that hung off his tiny frame, his arms folded close to his chest. Sacha scowled at him, hated it when Aleks wore his fucking clothes, like that was ever supposed to mean something, but he knew Aleks would never listen if Sacha told him to stop. He'd never done a fucking thing Sacha wanted.

Sacha stopped in front of him and looked down at Aleks with a sneer, trying to ignore the rest of Aleks’ bruises. The only one Sacha had given him was the one on his face, where he’d backhanded the little shit for trying to screw things up with Ethan, but there was fuck all Sacha could do about the others. Aleks knew better than to stay with anyone who hurt him like that, and Sacha figured if he was sticking around for it then he must have liked it.

Didn’t mean Sacha had to like it, though.

“You with him?” he asked before he said anything else, lighting a cigarette and leaning back against the wall of the diner.

Aleks nodded and gestured to the window with his head. “Inside.”

Sacha tightened his jaw. “Well you’d better tell that prick not to fucking come outside or he’s gonna—”

“Sacha,” Aleks interrupted, voice soft.

“What?”

“Don’t act like you’re still jealous of him. It was a year ago. _You_ left _me_.”

Sacha snorted. “Because _you_ couldn’t keep your fucking legs closed.”

“And _you_ couldn’t stop staring at _him_.” Aleks wouldn’t look over at the car, but the way he said _him_ made it clear who he was referring to. He never used Ethan’s name, though, it was always just _him_.

But Sacha was tired of hearing about it now, didn’t know when it was ever going to end—him and Aleks going round in circles like this forever, each blaming the other and neither able to forgive for the past. Sacha hated that he’d dragged Ethan into this bullshit, knew he should have just stayed the fuck away from him, but it was too late for that now. Sacha had him and he wouldn’t let go without a fight.

Finally, he just said, “Tch. Difference is I never laid a fucking hand on him, did I? Not until we were done.”

“I know that,” Aleks said quietly. A few moments passed, and then: “What happened to us, Sacha?”

“You tell me,” Sacha replied, taking a hard drag on his cigarette and scuffing his shoe against the ground. “Thought we were doing alright just being friends. But then you went and—”

“It was only ever alright for _you_ , Sacha,” Aleks snapped, voice shaking. “I don’t want to be your friend. You know I still love you.”

“Tch. Never loved me enough, though, did you?” Sacha muttered, and it was only then that Aleks started crying and making a big fucking scene, bringing a hand up to cover his eyes, sleeve slipping back to reveal too-bony and bruised wrists. Sacha grabbed him and yanked Aleks into him.

“Stop fucking crying. Everyone’s looking,” he said through clenched teeth, glancing around the parking lot and panicking, unsure what to do. He was never sure what to do when someone cried in front of him.

Aleks wiped his eyes and stared up at Sacha like Sacha had all the fucking answers, eyes huge and lip trembling, and Sacha didn’t want to stay angry with him anymore, hated it when Aleks looked at him this way—like he was innocent and Sacha was the one hurting _him_.

But after what Aleks had done it wasn’t like Sacha had much of a fucking choice but to stay angry. Back when they were kids and Sacha was mad at him for something, Sacha would have just punched him in the mouth and let that settle it. But things were different now that they were older: Sacha was twice the size of him and settling things with his fists just didn’t seem right anymore.

All Sacha knew was that Aleks hanging so hard onto what they’d had was probably half his own fault for dragging it out too long, knew he shouldn’t have kept fucking Aleks the first couple of months after they’d broken up. But Aleks had always pushed for it and Sacha hadn’t always been able to say no to him, especially not back at the beginning when Sacha had still missed him too much to stay away.

“You know I’m with him now,” Sacha finally said, relaxing his grip around Aleks’ wrist. “I don’t care what you think about it, but if you don’t like it then too fucking bad. I never stopped you from seeing that prick in there, did I?”

Aleks sniffed and slowly shook his head.

“You’re going to talk to him,” Sacha demanded. “You’re gonna say sorry to him. Only reason I’m out here talking to you is because he wanted it. But if you won’t talk to him then we’re leaving. You won’t see me again.”

Aleks glanced over at the car and bit his lip. “Don't go. I’ll talk to him, Sacha.”

“And Aleks.”

Aleks looked back up at him with wide eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about what happened with us again,” Sacha said with a hard look. He flicked his cigarette out onto the concrete and let go of Aleks' wrist. “It’s fucking over, you got it? We both fucked up. I want to forget about it.”

“I want to forget about it, too,” Aleks said thickly, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

“Good, but—” Sacha didn’t get to finish. Aleks fell against him, wrapping his arms tight around Sacha’s middle and pressing his cheek to Sacha’s chest, and Sacha frowned down at him, hadn’t seen this coming.

Eventually he just patted Aleks awkwardly on the back, didn’t know what the fuck else to do, and hoped Ethan wouldn’t get the wrong impression if he was watching from the car.


End file.
